John Waymel

This story will focus on the spiritual and "God" aspects surrounding a kidney donation. If you're not a believer in the power of the Holy Spirit then it may not make sense to you. If you do believe, brace yourself.  This has been an incredible spiritual and faith filled experience, another defining event in my faith.

 

"Why wait to be asked?"

It was sometime around spring of 2004 when Bob, a member of our Men’s Ministry and Faith Sharing Group brought an unusual personal experience up for discussion one Saturday morning.  He had been attending a car auction that week and a man was there working the crowd person-by-person.  He was asking people for help to save his life.  The man explained that he was suffering from kidney disease and was looking for someone to donate a kidney to save his life.  The kidney did not have to be a match because it would just go into the “pool” and this gentleman would bypass the waiting list and receive a matching kidney when the next one became available.  As Christians and Catholics, Bob asked the rest of us what our answer should be when a perfect stranger says, “Will you donate one of your kidneys to save my life?”  We had all donated time, money, and talent to various different organizations as well as individuals in need, but this was a question none of us had ever been asked.  We discussed this topic during much of our group meeting that morning, but to my recollection no one gave an affirmative answer.  I even contemplated this unique opportunity for a few days afterward and then, as I had done to many times before, allowed other human concerns take precedence in my daily activities and the once burning question soon fell off my mental radar screen. 

A few months later, Bob retold the story of this man searching for someone who would give of themselves to save the man’s life.  This time, however, something was different.  There was this incredibly strong feeling that I could not walk away from the question again.  It was if some “voice” inside was telling me that I could not leave the church property that morning until I had answered the question, “Would you donate a kidney to save someone’s life?”  I went into the church after our meeting ended and sat there praying for strength and guidance.  The flurry of thoughts in my mind seemed to be wrestling with my interpretation of Christianity and at what point we draw the line in the sand in helping or loving our “neighbor”.  The voice inside challenged me to “walk-the-talk” and take all those good words I used in the past about loving unconditionally and put them into action.  It was a defining moment in my faith – one that helped me understand what I truly believed.  After several very long minutes in prayer and silence I could feel my heart pounding and was overcome by a warm sensation.  The answer was surely at hand – I would say “yes!”  There was a brief moment of misplaced pride but then I heard the voice immediately challenge me again with a more frightening question, “Then why wait to be asked?”  That’s when I knew what had to be done.  I could not be satisfied knowing I would say yes only if someone asked me.  It became very apparent that I was being called by the Holy Spirit to actively go forward and donate one of my kidneys without being asked! 

Although I had made the decision to follow what I felt was a calling from the Holy Spirit, there was still more work for him to do.  In the next few weeks I did nothing more than think about what had happened.  I took no further steps to put a plan into action.  It should have come as no surprise when I began seeing articles about organ donations and other people who had donated their kidneys to give the “gift of life.”  God was certainly letting me know that He had not forgotten my commitment.  I finally turned it over to our Lord and checked out www.kidney.org to start investigating the process.

 I began working with the helpful and friendly staff at the transplant clinic at St. Luke’s Medical Center of Milwaukee in October of 2004.  They scheduled all the medical testing and interviews necessary for me to be approved as a kidney donor.  In the 3-4 months that followed, I was measured, scanned, poked, bled, analyzed, probed and further evaluated to determine if I was healthy enough and if my kidneys were suitable for the potential donation.  During all this time I remember feeling completely at ease with the entire process.  The doctors and interview personnel seemed to be surprised that I rarely had any questions or concerns about the actual procedure and recuperation.  It was if something inside was letting me know everything would be alright and I didn’t have to worry about a thing. 

In January of 2005, finally, everything was complete and we could move on to scheduling the surgical procedure.  It was interesting to note that of the 6 anonymous donors evaluated by the clinic during the past 12 months, I was the only one to make it through the entire process and receive an “OK” by the second kidney specialist.  This was certainly another indication of divine intervention – a sign – that this was meant to happen.

It wasn't until the day before surgery, when I meet the recipient (Richard), that the pieces started falling into place. He had been undergoing 6 hour long dialysis treatments, 3 times per week for almost 3 years. The debilitating effects of both kidney disease and the dialysis treatment process were a shock to me. His life was just being slowly sucked right out of his veins. He had little energy or stamina and could almost never be up to do anything longer than an hour or so. What an incredibly horrible experience!

Richard has a cousin who is a Jesuit Priest; another cousin and an uncle are both Brothers in religious orders.  There had been several prayer chains working on finding a kidney. However, because Richard & I have a relatively rare blood type (A-), the cadaver donor list was ineffective in producing an organ that would meet his needs. Once I discovered all he had been going through in pain and discomfort, and heard about all the prayers on his behalf, it finally made sense why this donation was happening. As I mentioned, all throughout the process I had been gliding along with no concerns for myself and no questions for the doctors; my inner peace was at an unbelievably high level. I could never seem to logically explain why I was doing this other than to say "I just felt the need to do it - I was being called to make the donation, but didn't know why".  Meeting Richard provided the answer. My urge to donate was simply God’s answer to all the prayers going out for him. It wasn't about me or my donation at all - it was the plain fact that my kidney was the one Richard needed, so it was going to happen. I had this picture in my head of God pointing at my kidney and telling the Holy Spirit to “go get it.” This realization was so overwhelming because it was also a first hand witness of God's immense love for Richard - to provide him with the kidney that would save his life, and the Holy Spirit was carrying me through the process.  That's why I was so at peace.

 It came full circle the evening after surgery when I was alone in my hospital room, hooked up to 3 medicine pumps, compression bandages for my legs, oxygen, and an extra IV tap.  There was also this strange empty feeling in my side, accompanied by a fair amount of physical discomfort at every movement or breath. As I scanned all the contraptions and contemplated the ache in my side, I said to myself, "I might need that kidney some day, what the heck was I thinking?!" It was that brief moment of human feeling that told me I had not been thinking at all, just responding to a high power that was guiding the entire process and making everything happen according to God's plan. This self realization also made it clear that had the decision been left solely to me, without intervention from above, I would not have responded so graciously to the call - and Richard's pain would still remain. It was only through God’s love and the powerful intervention of the Holy Spirit that made this donation possible. Once again, I was and continue to be overwhelmed by His love & power.

 I can't tell you how many times since the operation I have replayed this experience in my mind and shared it with other people. However, I can tell you that each time there are tears in my eyes and a slight waiver in my voice when I verbalize the immensity of what has transpired. Some people will read this and discount or perhaps not fully understand what went on here, but I have only recorded what I felt so deeply from within. In any event - that's my story and I'm sticking with it.

 As an addendum, there have been many people responding to this story with various types of praise and adulation for “my gift” or “noble deed” – but I continue to listen to the Holy Spirit to handle this in the correct way.  The answer was provided in the form of an ancient Christian tradition that eventually became the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  In those early years the custom called for public confession in front of your faith community.  So whenever I am called to retell the donation story, I always include my confession as well.  Remember that couple of month gap between hearing the need to donate and when I finally got around to answering the call?  My lack of action (which is as good as a “no” response) subjected Richard to additional months of pain and hardship.  I had no right to cause him that needless torture.  This is a piece of the story that lives with me as a constant reminder of my weak faith.  So I ask all who read this story to reach down and please forgive me and my failure to respond to God’s call the first time.  I pray to be more responsive in the future.